After the short commercial break that lasted 1 month, 3 weeks, 1 day and 3.68 hours, I am finally back for my one dedicated reader. Before I go on to talk about the next adventure, I would like to take this time to explain myself and the many reasons as to why I have been missing in action, for almost the same amount of time as the advertisement videos on YouTube that no one watches other than that one odd Usman (shout-out) out there. The biggest of them is that beast (read previous if confused) decided to call me up on a Monday morning for breakfast and proceeded to inform me that he’s moving to a different country for about a decade.. on Wednesday.. of that week. Now that beast was gone, majority of the population in their right mind did not want to go on hikes in the middle of a cold, Calgary winter that can be as unpredictable as that one weird uncle everyone has in their family. On the other hand, choosing an adventure partner is in itself not a decision I take lightly. It’s basically the same as choosing which dish to eat more of at an Eid gathering. After many applications, interviews, tests, and trials, I decided to give someone a try and this is how it went..
It was a Monday morning, as most of the interesting mornings in my life usually are. I had not gone on any type of adventure for an entire 3 weeks (well, other than trying to eat food before the guests arrive or sneaking in skip the dishes orders when there was food already at home). I had also just finished up two bottles of Roohafza (if you don’t know what that is, please find out what it is), and now I was thirsting for adventure. I finally decided that I am just going to go alone and somehow take pictures of myself adventuring for my blog. After getting everything ready, I took a seat in my car, put my key in the ignition, and at that moment I received a message from Blserp. A completely unrelated message, something to do with goats and crossing highways. I took that as a universal sign and told Blserp to get ready because he was about to go on an adventure with Hasnain.
Blserp is as unusual of a person as the name Blserp. In fact, trying to describe him is the same as trying to pronounce his name. We will, therefore, leave him a mystery and as we go on, you, my reader can ponder on what Blserp is all about. I had already taken Newbie and Deer on a hike and both times, the hike turned out to be slightly bigger/larger/more complicated than anticipated for the new hikers. That is why this time, I chose a hike that was the most simple but still worthwhile one that I could come up with.. the Big Hill Springs. The person who named it was quite a thinker, because it is literally a big hill with a spring running through it.
As we were walking up the hill, I noticed that Blserp could give even Slippy competition when it comes to balance. One minute everything was going as expected and the next, I looked back to find him immersed in snow and falling left, right and centre. I, therefore, ended up filling the job description of a trekking pole. The spring itself was completely frozen but the bridges and landscape was worth the effort of driving up there (which, by the way, wasn’t much effort because Big Hill Springs is actually very close to Calgary). However, something very unexpected happened. As we were walking on the top of the hill, I heard the sound of crushing branches that comes with a very large animal moving through thick trees and bushes. Since there are (unfortunately) no elephants in Canada, it had to be either a Bear or an Elk. I didn’t tell Blserp about it, well because in case it was a Bear, running away frantically would not be the best of decisions. I subtly searched around for it but couldn’t see anything at first. A few seconds later I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I slowly turned my head to see the camouflaging animal that was so close to us. It was a lady elk doing what lady elks do, eating food.
I had not seen an elk in nature for a couple of years now, so I was very thrilled. We tried to get just close enough to not disturb it, but still capture it in my very old and rusted LG G4. Running into the elk gave new life to the adventure and to the companionship of Blserp and I. There are some things in life that have the ability to bond people in an instant and wild elks are one of them. After a snowball aiming competition and more slipping and sliding, we finally made it down the hill, but the adventure was still not over.
Across the parking lot, we saw another hill, one that was unmanned/inaccessible by anyone, so we decided we have to see what the view looked like from the top. Once we reached the top however, there was no view, just another hill. Once again, we decided to climb. Upon reaching the top, the view was definitely something. Something you can get by looking outside your bedroom window. A beautiful, large, big, fat and flat ground. At this point, Blserp decided to have a seat and eat snow. Since there were already so many unusual things happening, I decided that it was normal and joined him in our snow fiesta.
I had really thought that this was the end of our adventure for the day and we had seen everything we were going to. I was proven wrong once again when on our way back, bighorn sheep with very big horns decided to cross the road in front of us and have a head “ramming” battle for our entertainment. Our 2-hour planned adventure turned into 9 hours of “what is happening today” and every single second was worth it. Time flew out the window just like a Pakistani parent’s shoe when their child is up to no good. The most interesting part that I realized while sharing my adventure was that we didn’t actually take many pictures during it, but I guess that is what real adventures are all about.
Hasnain Raza Baloach 